| Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton | | | | are, therefore, more present. Surely, that's what |
| You know the old expression - "They're a born | | | | the word "presence" actually means! Being more |
| leader!"? Is there any such thing - or can we all be | | | | present, "normal" people notice them as being |
| leaders? Is there any secret that can be learned - | | | | different - people with presence stand out from |
| that we can all learn? Or are some "leaders" and | | | | the crowd. And, as a result, they make more of |
| most of us "followers"? | | | | an impression - they are more impressive. |
| Well, first of all, let's get a few facts straight. | | | | Some "leaders" do it naturally. Others have |
| Most people who find themselves in leadership | | | | learned it. We can all learn it. In fact, it comes |
| positions, wouldn't be able to lead themselves out | | | | naturally to every one of us too - we've just |
| of a paper bag! They might have built up a | | | | forgotten how to do it. You see, having presence |
| veneer of self-confidence to get them to where | | | | is simply a question of being more focused in the |
| they are - but that's all self-confidence is, a | | | | present moment - more than the pathetic 1-2% |
| veneer. | | | | that is the "norm". And we all were experts at |
| Self-confidence is a cloak that builds and protects | | | | paying attention to the present moment when |
| your personality, or your ego. Your personality is | | | | we were young children. (If you have children, |
| not who you really are, it's who you think you are | | | | just look at the way they get engrossed in their |
| - warts and all - based on the self-perceptions | | | | play, watching television, etc.) |
| that you learned during your formative years. | | | | Re-train your mind to be present - by paying |
| Self-confidence merely bolsters the ego and, in | | | | attention to your five senses. Come to your |
| fact, removes you even further from your true | | | | senses. Appreciate the present moment by |
| capabilities and inner potential. | | | | seeing, feeling, hearing smelling and tasting what's |
| There's a world of difference between the | | | | going on. If you go through these simple steps, |
| self-confident personality and someone with | | | | your mind will get used to being more here - and |
| presence or charisma. People with presence are | | | | it will wander less. If you're with friends, really |
| true leaders - whether they even have thought | | | | listen to what they're saying, rather than thinking |
| about it in those terms or not. So, what's the | | | | about what you'll say next. If you're playing |
| difference between the "normal" person and the | | | | sports, really feel the strain in your legs and arms, |
| person who exudes presence? | | | | rather than thinking about something that |
| Very simple really - and we can all exude | | | | happened beforehand or thinking that your |
| presence. You see decades of research prove | | | | opponent is better than you (that's actually a |
| that "normal" people use only a small percentage | | | | self-fulfilling prophecy!). If you're in a meeting with |
| of their mental capability to focus on the present | | | | someone you don't like, stop thinking that useless |
| moment - the here and now. Generally speaking, | | | | thought, listen to what they're really saying (not |
| your subconscious mind is looking at the old | | | | what you think they're saying) and get involved - |
| programs that create your self-perception, which | | | | really involved. If you're playing with your children, |
| were installed during your childhood. In other | | | | don't try to wash the dishes and do the laundry |
| words, your subconscious mind is living in the past. | | | | at the same time - really play with them, rather |
| All the while, your conscious mind is being | | | | than going through the motions. |
| distracted by random thoughts - approximately, | | | | But, most of all, give yourself the space and time |
| fifty thousand of them every day. No wonder | | | | to re-train your mind to pay attention - simply to |
| your mind wanders! Generally speaking, these | | | | notice and observe the present moment, using |
| random thoughts are worries or distractions about | | | | your five senses. You could go for a walk - just |
| the outturn of events, or looking forward (to the | | | | to do that. Not to "clear your head" or "think |
| weekend, the holidays, meeting up with your | | | | things through" - just to appreciate the here and |
| friends tonight). In other words, your conscious | | | | now. You could allocate time to sit in the park - |
| mind is living in the future. What all this amounts | | | | just experiencing the here and now. If you |
| to is that only about 1% or 2% of you is actually | | | | workout, you could turn off your iPod and really |
| present, in the present. | | | | focus on the muscles you're using. |
| People with presence are simply a little (or, in | | | | The key point is this. If you want to get mentally |
| some cases, a lot) more present than all the | | | | fit and have presence, a little time set aside for |
| "normal" people who are not all here at all. They | | | | mental training goes a very long way. And we can |
| are more focused in the present moment and | | | | all do it. |